In September before I went to Hawaii I did something that I never imagined I would do. I quit my job in the Family Birthing Center. I pretty much had the best job ever. I was per diem, so I had to sign up for a minimum of 4 days a month (only 1of those days had to be a weekend day and only 1 major holiday a year). So why did I quit? Those 4 days might not seem like a lot but trust me, they were! In the 10 years that I have been a nurse I have always worked night shift. That was by choice. I loved the people I worked with, I am a night owl, and things are just different on nights.... it was the best thing...until I had kids of my own....and when they are young still it changes the whole aspect of nightshift.
I would have to make sure we all got down for naps by early afternoon so I could stay awake once 3 am hit and not be in a zombie state. However, it was rare occasion that all 3 kids cooperated.
Since I was per diem, I was counted as extra staff, so thus if the unit was overstaffed for my shift I would be the first one to get called off. Shift starts at 7 pm but the hospital can call off anytime up to 6 pm...however, I leave the house by 5:45 to meet Matt at my parents to switch cars and drop off kids. So generally I was already on the way to work when I would frequently get the phone call. I of course did not mind these phone calls although it really did screw up the day when I had struggled to get kids to sleep and nothing got done around the house.
I didn't have daycare. I paid a good friend to watch two of the kids the day after my shift so I could get 4 or 5 hours of sleep...but then she moved across the mountains. So for the last year and half I have been struggling to either stay awake all day after being up for 24 hours, or I managed to get an hour and half nap in while the kids were at preschool. That was lika a major tease to my body. I started to feel sick, really sick. I was really grouchy for at least 3 or 4 days after having no sleep. Once I caught up it would be time to work again just about. I knew I was not being the best mom I could be.
I had thought about the idea of quitting to be a complete stay at home mom on and off for a couple years but it was always just a quick thought and then it would pass. Usually I just thought about it when I was so so so tired and didn't think I could function anymore. I got paid so well, and we loved using that extra money for vacations, wants and needs, the house, holidays, etc etc etc. It was fun to be able to take a couple fun vacations a year. So that was a major bonus to work those 4 days a month.
Then McKade started Kindergarten. He really struggled at first. He wasn't adjusting well to full day school but at Adna they don't have 1/2 day Kindergarten. He never had a teacher other than his Gram. He needed my extra attention. Plus his bus would come at 3 which was right in the smack dab middle of us taking our nap before I had to go to work. So our naps pretty much stopped. McKade started praying that I would get called off work just so I could be home with them at night. It broke my heart when I wouldn't get called off and his dissappointment showed.
I started mentioning the idea to Matt about me quitting...he basically told me he would support me with my decision. (secretly I know he was dying for me to quit....cuz my working 1 night a week threw off his schedule too and he was always a little late the next day to work. Thankfully he is kind of his own boss)
I started praying about what I should do. I still went to work...however I was getting called off 3 out of the 4 days I was signed up for on several occasions. Then one Friday night I went to work. Had a terrific night. The best sweetest patients who absolutely adored their new babies (trust me...sometimes I would go home literally worried about what kind of life some of those kids were going to have!). I didn't even get tired that night. I got home and the kids were so happy to see me. but of course I went straight to bed. Like 3 times that day one of the kids would bang on the door waking me crying about one thing or another and then I would hear Matt take them to the other room. I woke up that day knowing my kids needed me way more than my job needed me at this time in our lives. My kids are young and I want them to have a happy mom during this time in their childhood. Not a crabby grouchy mom from lack of sleep. So despite loving my night of work the night before I knew what my answer was.
That night while Matt and I were talking I told him I wanted to quit my job. I explained all the pros and cons and we realized the pros really outweighed the cons in several different angles. Mostly we would miss the extra money, but we could totally be comfortable with Matt's income. We would have to make limitations in our lives...shopping, vacations, etc but those were the sacrifices we were definitely willing to make. And we have!
I do miss working in the FBC. I miss seeing those special little babies. I miss getting my baby fix! I miss the people I have worked with for years. But...
I love my family. I love my kids. I love being home with them. I love seeing them happy! The best thing about being a nurse is that just because I am not working, my profession is not lost. I pay $75 a year to keep my RN license active so that someday when the time is right, if it ever is....I can go back to work although by then I might be very accustomed to being a SAHM!
So that is part of what keeps me so busy...but I am loving it!
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