It's been just over 2 months since my Grammy passed away. Time is going by fast but I miss her more each day. I have heard people say that it is that way for at least awhile.
I haven't had very many moments where I have broken down but the other night I did have a moment. The kids were in bed and the house was quiet. I was standing in the kitchen in the dark, except for the stove light, and I just thought of her. That's how it usually happens. I won't be thinking and suddenly thoughts of her pop in my head. Usually it's not thoughts of occasions but its thoughts of conversations with her I have had and its her voice I start to think of rather than a visual memory. I don't know how most people remember things but I have found that I remember people the most by their voice.
I miss my grandma dearly. I grew closer and closer to her as I got older, especially since she moved back here to Washington. That night standing in the kitchen I yearned to just have another conversation with her. I wanted that so bad. And I have mourned that for the last couple days.
Then suddenly today I realized that I have like 20 or so voicemails left from my grandma over the last year, the last one left in the end of December, a couple week before she died and I sat there and listened to each and every one of them. Obviously it wasn't a two way conversation but it gave me peace. A peace I needed today. I get that people, close or not so close, drop in and out of our lives, its a very realistic realization for me right now, but the best knowledge I can take with me is that I am bonded to my grandma forever and I am eternally grateful for that. She loved me at my best and she loved me at my worst. And I couldn't have asked for an acceptance greater than that.
I pray she is finding peace and happiness in Paradise.
- Posted By Brook
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